Temporary Insanity
by KarotsaMused
Summary: And the moral of the story: Do not touch the things you find at the bottom of a well...


A/N: This was inspired by the Foo Fighters' cover of Prince's "Darling Nicky" and a late night reading Xanth novels. It's utter, unbelievable crap. But I had fun with it anyway.  
  
Stats: Inuyasha/Xanth crossover based upon the scene with Bink and the jewel nymph in "Source of Magic" and very little sleep. I giggled a bit, then banged this out in two hours this afternoon. Blame peppermint ice cream, channel 94.9, and the sense of humor that spawned the "Secondhand Incest" story arc. This was more of a tester just to see how I supposed the characters would react to certain...happenings.  
  
Pairings: *real* pairings are Sango/Miroku, Inuyasha/Kagome. Induced parings are too numerous to list. Don't say I didn't warn you.  
  
Warnings: Language, 'themes', Miroku/Inuyasha though it's PG-rated, utter stupidity. Plotlessness and probable OOC.  
  
If you're still here, have fun...  
  
***  
  
Tears welled in beautiful, brown eyes as she backed away from him. "I'm going home! I don't need this. I just don't need this!"  
  
The sullen mask on his features dissolved, revealing pained surprise. "Kagome! Wait..."  
  
"Sit!" she cried, clenching her hands into fists, but taking none of the usual satisfaction from seeing his face slam into the hard ground. She sometimes wondered if his nose would ever break under the strain. She turned on her heel and stormed away, brushing past two exasperated young adults on the way.  
  
"Really, Inuyasha," the young man said, twirling his staff in his hand. "Forgetting her name?"  
  
"Calling her -Kikyou-?" the woman added, eyes narrowed. "She's got every right to go."  
  
The man on the ground spat out a mouthful of dirt, tossed his white bangs, and snarled, "Just let her. Stupid bitch." There were times he truly regretted having hurt her, but his rage overpowered sweeter senses as soon as she forced him to submit. But he had overslept, had called her by the wrong name in sleep-muddled incoherence. And she had taken it personally. Inuyasha rubbed his face on his sleeve and glared into the condescending gazes of his companions.  
  
"Shippou's gone after her." The woman turned over her shoulder and shrugged. "I hope he catches her."  
  
"Why, so she can come back to 'sit' me again?" Inuyasha growled, trying to victimize himself.  
  
"So you two can kiss and make up, idiot," came the reply. A brilliant pair of orange eyes blinked from her shoulder and the owner squeaked an agreement. The young man grinned.  
  
"Careful, Sango."  
  
Sango sighed in affection and exasperation. "Why do you keep doing it, Inuyasha?"  
  
He closed his golden eyes and refused to answer.  
  
*  
  
"Kagome!" The high-pitched squeal made her turn, hardened eyes softening in relief as the kitsune dove into her arms.  
  
"Hi, Shippou." She buried her face in his bright hair. He wrapped his little hands about the collar of her shirt.  
  
"Don't go back, Kagome, I hate it when you go!"  
  
Kagome smiled. "Maybe...maybe I overreacted. We're heading toward the Bone Eater's well anyway. So if the others catch up with us before I have a chance to go, I guess I won't."  
  
Shippou squealed as she squeezed him. "Walk slow!"  
  
And so they strolled through the morning, gray air thick with dew. Kagome chided herself for ever thinking Inuyasha would forget Kikyou, for ever hoping to outrank her in his heart. Still, with the effort of her want of that position, with the recent absence of Kikyou from their daily routine, it was easy to forget.  
  
Shippou giggled. "I just remembered..."  
  
"Mm?"  
  
"You left your bike, Kagome. Made me think of when Miroku rode it." He giggled again.  
  
Kagome laughed with the fox in her arms, realizing for the first time the idiocy of a monk riding a pink bicycle. At the time, Kagome had been a bit preoccupied with her unwilling abduction to notice. "Think he'll ride it back?" Shippou answered with an impossibly large grin and they laughed again.  
  
As they approached the well, Shippou's ears perked. "Inuyasha's coming," he said in a tone of amused disbelief. "I didn't think it'd be that fast."  
  
Kagome hid a self-satisfied smile as said hanyou burst from nearby foliage and skidded to a stop with his face inches from Kagome's.   
  
"Where do you think -you're- going?" he demanded, one dark eyebrow twitching.  
  
Kagome had been ready to forgive him. Truly, she had. But that expression that placed all fault upon -her- for leaving, the accusation of unsupported selfishness on her part when she -clearly- had reason... She set her face in a deep scowl and yelled, "Going home! What's it look like?" She stormed past him with Shippou still in her arms.  
  
"When are you coming back?" Miroku asked, pushing a bicycle at his side. Kagome nearly smiled at the sight of it, but forced it down. Still, her eyes softened as they lit upon him and she replied, "Just a little while." She traded Shippou for her backpack and brushed briskly past Inuyasha without another glance at him.  
  
She sat on the sill of the well, looking down. There was something in it, soaking the soil.  
  
"Hey...Inuyasha?" she called over her shoulder. "Guys?"  
  
Inuyasha did not respond, but Sango, Miroku, and Shippou came to her side. Kagome pointed down inside the well, the darkness slowly illuminating in the morning light. "See it?"  
  
"Looks like just a rag." Miroku shrugged. "Who'd throw a rag down the well?"  
  
Sango snorted. "Someone careless." She glanced down the well and shivered. "But there's something strange about it."  
  
"I can't go down there; I'd pass through without getting it," Kagome said.  
  
"Why do you want to get it?" Shippou asked incredulously.  
  
Miroku grinned. "Curiosity!" And with that, he vaulted into the well, landing in a crouch to steady himself. He nudged the rag with the end of his staff. When nothing exploded, attacked, or dissolved, he reached down and picked it up. The rag was cold to the touch, but his palm burned, not unpleasantly. "Going up!" he called, tossing it out of the well.  
  
Sango grabbed it, and jumped at the same strange contrast in her hands. "It doesn't look like anything but water. But it feels strange."  
  
Kagome took the rag from Sango and weighed the wet cloth in her hand. When a soaking corner of it came in contact with her wrist, her pulse jumped, shock racing uncomfortably from her arm to her heart. "Whoa."  
  
"I -thought- you were leaving," Inuyasha sneered, face appearing over her shoulder. In irritated reflex, Kagome tossed the rag at him and it hit his forehead with a wet slap. "What the hell?" Inuyasha peeled the cloth from his face and snarled at Kagome, blinking angrily.  
  
Kagome rubbed her arm. "Maybe I should stay. That was weird."  
  
Sango nodded, reaching down to haul Miroku out of the well. The monk landed on his backside with a curse.  
  
"Well if you're staying let's get going," Inuyasha murmured, turning and walking away. He tossed the rag over his shoulder and it landed squarely in the well.  
  
Kagome and Sango shared a glance, sighed, and followed.  
  
*  
  
Throughout the day, one does not realize how frequently one's hands come in contact with their face. An itch, a yawn, a sneeze, all bring fingertips in contact with the face. Most often the lips. Talk between the travelers was hindered for all but Shippou, as mouths buzzed and lips burned. Inuyasha found it disquieting to blink, his eyes aching with no reason to react. Sango shook her hands as if trying to clear water from them, although they had long ago dried. Miroku rubbed his chin as often was habit during thought, though his fingers often grazed his lips. Kagome yawned frequently if only to cover her mouth.  
  
By sundown, Shippou had been pulled from his oblivious innocence into a state of disturbed curiosity. But he didn't voice it, merely staying in the basket of Kagome's bike.  
  
An outsider would have noted the uncharacteristic silence around the campfire that night. An outsider would have wondered at the vaguely guilty eyes of every member in the party. An outsider would have laughed had they known the genesis behind the constraint.  
  
*  
  
Miroku's eyelids felt leaden, impossible to lift. He breathed deeply of the chill morning air, stretching and sitting up. When his eyes opened, they lit upon the sleeping Inuyasha. The hanyou leaned against a tree, cushioned by the thick fall of his snowy hair. Miroku smiled bemusedly at the sudden poetics of his thoughts. Inuyasha moved a bit, turning his head to the side and baring an expanse of pale neck. Miroku found himself transfixed, eyes raking over his skin, salivating at sudden fantasies that had never before held precedence in his mind. The onrush of it shocked and disturbed him, the sudden lust for another man not unheard of but at the same time frighteningly foreign. Inuyasha had never brought such thoughts to his mind before, so strong and unbidden. His mouth burned.  
  
He turned and saw Kagome staring at him, her lips slightly parted. He had always found her attractive, so much more so than many other women he had encountered. But never before had her eyes glazed when they met his. "G'morning," he murmured, surprised at the shakiness in his own voice. Inuyasha murmured in his sleep and Miroku shuddered at the thrill of the hanyou's voice.  
  
Kagome experienced a similar reaction when Miroku spoke. She glanced away from him, suddenly embarrassed, suddenly giddy. He made her feel helpless, vulnerable. Only Inuyasha had inspired such emotion within her and she was flustered beyond belief at Miroku's sudden equality in this department. Still, his smile was sweet and so falsely honest, so practiced and wrenchingly gorgeous, the sight of it thrilled her. He put a hand to his forehead and she found herself unable to tear her eyes from the motion, almost sighing as his fingers tangled in his hair. "Good morning," she managed to reply, though it was almost inaudible. Inuyasha muttered again and they glanced at him, affection swelling in both breasts. Kagome rejoiced in it; Miroku shuddered.  
  
Miroku swallowed, cottonmouthed and too warm. "Do you have any water?"  
  
Kagome dug in her backpack, suddenly clumsy under his gaze. She pulled out an empty canteen. "No. There's got to be a river around here. Help me?"  
  
Miroku nodded, suddenly glad of an excuse to be away from Inuyasha and his own thoughts. Time with Kagome would be good for him.  
  
Inuyasha's eyes snapped open and he glanced around, seeing Sango, Shippou, and no one else. "Sango!" he cried, and she awoke, tensed. The world dropped away as their eyes met.  
  
Any adrenaline surge Sango had experienced at being rudely woken doubled at the burning, golden gaze upon her. In his angered, frazzled, battle-ready state, Inuyasha's shoulders dropped back and his fingers twitched. It was enthralling to watch him breathe, to watch the muscles in his neck stretch around air itself. She nearly gasped when he murmured her name.  
  
And what a name! Inuyasha loved to say it, loved to feel the one word that defined her in his mouth. "Sango..." Her intelligent, dark eyes seemed enthrallingly dramatic as they met his. The curves of her face, the curves of her body brought to his skin a sudden ache that inspired a mental tirade comparing himself to Miroku. But for the first time he truly understood why the monk couldn't keep his hands off of her.  
  
"Yes?" Sango asked, her voice soft and distant and just the right timbre to rub Inuyasha exactly the wrong way.  
  
The only word he could choke out was, "...forgot."  
  
Shippou chose that moment to yawn widely, stretch his hands to the sky, and blearily focus on Inuyasha and Sango. Their faces were inches apart, dazed, hypnotized. At the sound, the two jumped apart, trying to conceal embarrassment.  
  
"Good morning, everyone," Kagome greeted, canteen slung over her shoulder. Miroku stolidly avoided Inuyasha's gaze, choosing instead to focus solely on Sango. In much the same manner, Kagome spoke only to Inuyasha.  
  
Overcoming his shock enough to lapse into his familiar anger, Inuyasha leapt to his feet. "Where were you? Going off without telling anyone!"  
  
Kagome rolled her eyes. "We went and got water. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll get some breakfast."  
  
Inuyasha watched her dig in her backpack and was suddenly ashamed of ever having let his attention linger upon Sango. Everything about Kagome both frustrated and comforted him, even the nonchalant motion of pulling food from her backpack. She truly was beautiful, in body and spirit, in some way Sango didn't match. The thought was comforting in a twisted way as the shades of Kikyou's face in Kagome inspired both guilt and affection. Kagome affected him more than most because she was at once two women to Inuyasha. He took the offered food from her with a sudden smile, and her face brightened.  
  
*  
  
"Kagome! Stay back!" Inuyasha swallowed hard and added, "You too, Sango..." He turned to the towering youkai and snarled, brandishing Tetsusaiga with a bit more than his usual fervor. Fighting would clear his head.  
  
All that morning, he had forced himself to ignore Sango. Owing to logic, the only person upon whom his mind would alight was said slayer. And Miroku had been less perceptive of the bounds of personal space than usual.  
  
The monk himself was staring open-mouthed at Inuyasha, much like Sango. "Why should I stay back?" Sango asked, frowning at the occupied hanyou. She shook her head and swung her leg over a transformed Kirara and took to the air with Kagome clinging to her waist.  
  
The youkai, a serpentine mass of coils leading to a handsome male torso, drew his sword against Tetsusaiga. His brilliant green eyes glittered as he blocked Inuyasha's blows while striking at the same time with the deadly barb at the end of his tail. Kagome fired an arrow at him, and he turned his attention to her as he dodged. Inuyasha was also preoccupied with Kagome's presence and, as a result, left himself open for attack. The venomous barb took a good chunk from his left shoulder, and he cried out in rage and pain.  
  
"Inuyasha!" Kagome screamed. Miroku clamped a hand over his mouth when he realized the cry had escaped him as well, concern for a friend overridden by a deeper need for him to be left unharmed. Yet, he was guarding the entrance to the nearby village, both keeping the youkai from entering and preventing frantic citizens from trying to escape.  
  
With an effort of will, Inuyasha laid the youkai to waste, leaving only charred bones and smoking ground in his wake. He collapsed, pupils dilating under the effect of the venom. Kagome rushed to his side, tears in her eyes.  
  
"Kagome," Sango said softly, "I've fought those type of youkai before. There's an antivenom." She forced herself not to look at Inuyasha, to keep her voice calm. "I know the name of the herb but not what it looks like. You've got to help me."  
  
Kagome allowed herself to be pulled from Inuyasha's side and led into deeper forest. Miroku watched them go and, unable to restrain himself any longer, rushed to Inuyasha and took the hanyou into his arms, propping his head on his lap. His shoulder bled heavily, but he had seen worse. Shippou was left with the villagers, rejoicing in the victory and trying to keep them from rushing out to the injured Inuyasha. Miroku would be doing the same, but somehow lowering the possibility for Inuyasha's injury through enthused, congratulatory pats on the back didn't hold as much prestige as it used to.  
  
Inuyasha's incoherence was a far more pressing matter, as he murmured mere babble and could not focus on Miroku's face.  
  
"Inuyasha, talk to me," Miroku ordered, mopping the sweat from the hanyou's face. "Come on, talk to me."  
  
"'m here," he murmured, trying unsuccessfully to focus on Miroku. "Can't feel...m'legs..." His eyes closed, fluttered open, and closed again. The paleness of him, the dark circles already under his eyes, alarmed Miroku.  
  
The monk patted Inuyasha's face, only a shade gentler than a slap. "Look at me! The girls will be back in just a minute to help, so keep looking at me. You can sleep later." Inuyasha did not respond. At that moment, sense fled.  
  
Sango and Kagome stared, mollified, neither able to decide whether they desired to trade places with Miroku or with Inuyasha. Miroku pulled his head up and sucked at his bottom lip. "Stay awake, damn it, or I'll do it again," he threatened, trying to calm the pounding of his heart.  
  
Inuyasha growled weakly and murmured, "Lemme die."  
  
Oh, that hurt. But Miroku refused to acknowledge it and Kagome and Sango rushed to him. Miroku relinquished his hold and left Inuyasha in the girls' care, eager to get away lest his current lack of sense overpower him again.   
  
*  
  
By that evening, Shippou found himself again the only one willing to speak. He grew indignant. "What's going on with you people?" he cried over dinner, watching as everyone stolidly refused to meet each other's eyes.  
  
Kagome laughed nervously, but Inuyasha cut her off. "My head hurts 'cause of the damn' snake. If anybody talks it gets worse. So shut up."  
  
Inuyasha was pulled taught in four very different directions. His deep love, his nostalgia ran in a straight line to Kikyou. A bone-deep affection as close to romance as he could recognize centered on Kagome. Sango held a new, blank infatuation. And Miroku...he tried to forget the warm taste of him, the salt sweat and sweet lust and pungent fear. And how, in venom-induced delirium, it was almost...nice. Inuyasha focused more firmly on his food. He noted Kagome's grateful smile and flashed a short one back, only comfortable in looking at her. And even that comfort was relative.   
  
*  
  
Kagome unrolled her sleeping bag and snuggled inside, lax in whatever meager hygiene she could practice only because she wanted to avoid everyone around her. She couldn't get the memory of Miroku's frantic kiss out of her mind. Neither, she realized, could Sango. Both of them had been glancing between the two for the rest of the day, a constant blush on both sets of cheeks. Kagome burrowed deeper into the sleeping bag and shuddered in anticipation for the kind of dreams she expected she would have.  
  
Sango glanced at Miroku, then at Inuyasha. She sighed and unrolled her pad, curling around Kirara and Shippou for warmth and comfort. Her head ached too much to think, having spent an entire day infatuated with someone she once betrayed and still couldn't quite bring herself to trust. She had always distanced herself from others since the slaughter of her village, but that day had left her spread-eagled and vulnerable. It was a feeling she disliked intensely. She frowned and pulled Kirara and Shippou closer to her, losing herself in the comforting smell of dirt and fur, of two little warm bodies against hers deep in trusting slumber. She wished Shippou would join her and Kirara more often, because of the feel of him. Because he reminded her of Kohaku in sweet times, and her vulnerability was worth the warmth.  
  
Miroku yawned and leaned up against a tree, much in the same fashion Inuyasha had adopted. The two looked at each other straight on for the first time since Inuyasha had regained knowledge of himself and Miroku glanced away. "Sorry."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"It was all I could think of."  
  
"Could have hit me."  
  
"Tried it."  
  
Inuyasha frowned, rubbing at the sudden itch in his left shoulder. "I wouldn't put it past you."  
  
Miroku smiled at that, at how easily he was forgiven upon grounds of an 'affliction.' "Lechery stretches, I suppose."  
  
Inuyasha grinned, slipping back into a comfort zone, for once having some sort of power over the monk. And yet, mercy welled. "Of course, I could have been delirious."  
  
Miroku glanced up, again looking at Inuyasha. The hanyou gave an almost imperceptible nod. "Thanks."  
  
"Good night, Miroku."  
  
"G'night."  
  
*  
  
Kagome sat up and glanced at Miroku. It was just Miroku, same as ever. No thrill of poetic thought, no rush of pulse. She grinned.  
  
"My, what a strange -dream- I had last night!" she cried loudly, stretching dramatically.  
  
Miroku woke at the exclamation. Kagome winked at him, and he glanced at Inuyasha, then back to her. And a smile blossomed. "Oh, really? I had an odd dream, too!"  
  
"Shut up, you!" Inuyasha snarled, unable to lapse back into sleep after having lifted his head. Sango sat up and their eyes locked. No bluebirds sang; no flowers bloomed.   
  
"Did you guys have strange dreams?" Kagome asked, enunciating slowly and clearly.  
  
Inuyasha groaned, rubbing at his sore shoulder, but smiled a little as Sango played into it. "It must have been something we ate! Goodness, Kagome, what's -wrong- with the food from your era?"  
  
Shippou rolled his eyes.  
  
"I guess I'll have to ask again when I'm older," he murmured to himself.  
  
*  
  
Two days prior in the distant land of Xanth:  
  
*  
  
Bink chided himself for foolishly staying with the nymph after having drunk from the spring. He had soaked a rag for his waiting companion, Chester Centaur, and he knew he must be thirsty. But he also knew the ill effects of the spring and realized the first person Chester's eyes would meet would be Bink himself. Bink didn't think he could bear it if word got to Crombie, to the Magician, or worse, to Cherie and Chameleon. Without a second thought, he pitched the soaked rag into the nymph's keg of jewels, not noticing as it disappeared. 


End file.
